Fear
by spazcat13
Summary: What happens when the lines between right and wrong begin to blur? When family and morals are no longer on the same side? Pansy and Draco's story during the war.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I own nothing, especially not these characters.

WARNING! HBP SPOILERS

Summery: Ficlet written for the day after HBP challenge on fiction alley.

Pansy's first evening home is not what she expected. There is no letter or message passed though her father or older brother. She would have thought he would contact her in some way but her mother's pride for Draco lavished upon her for dating such a "brilliant young man" makes the evening not only bearable but extremely pleasant.

The next evening doesn't even come close to pleasant. After a day spent alternately rushing to the windows to check for owls and sitting in front of her room's fireplace waiting for a floo call she is tense and short tempered at dinner. Her mother is the only one else present and soon quits the table in the face of Pansy's ire.

Pansy retires early, exhausted by the day's vigil, but sleep is not easy coming. Pride and worry war within her. Her pride is much like her mother's. Draco seems truly brilliant for being the first to let a invasion of Hogwarts happen. Without him they would have never gotten in and that alone should be enough to secure his position in the Dark Lord's circle. Thinking of this brightens her mood considerably until she goes back to the lack of contact.

She rationalizes that Draco must be in deep hiding right now. An owl or floo call could lead to his capture so of course he's not going to risk it. But why not pass a message to her father or brother. They certainly would be safe. Her foolish daydreams on the train ride of home of Draco waiting to meet her and sweeping her away into a life of favor and power have been completely smashed.

Pride and worry begin to fall to a new more sinister emotion, fear. It was said that Draco had not personally killed Dumbledore like asked. Snape has supposedly had to step in and do it. The elder Malfoy's imprisonment speaks clearly of the Dark Lord's capacity for forgiveness. His treatment of others shows his complete lack of tolerance for weakness.

Pansy now understands how most of the wizarding world must feel tonight. She falls asleep not hopeful for tomorrow but terrified of what news it may bring. No news is good news is what she has always been told. If her father and brother have not said anything then he must be in hiding. She clings to this small comfort as she drifts off.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: They aren't mine. 

Authors note: I didn't intend to write any more to this. It was supposed to stay the first chapter of under 500 words for the fiction alley challenge. My imagination seems to have won though. Here's a second chapter of what may be many more to come.

Chapter 2

Contact comes three days later in the form of a letter from her Great Aunt Lucinda. She was in the garden trying to pass time before lunch by finding the most perfectly formed flowers for the center piece of her parent's dinner party this evening. She had given up on watching the sky after the second day home so the brown owl landing beside her on the stone bench came as a shock and almost caused her to fall face first into the enchanted rosebush.

She tore the envelope from the owls grasp causing it to give a disgruntled hoot and fly around her head for a moment before settling back on the bench. Her heart sank as she recognized the round curly cursive to not be Draco's. Great Aunt Lucinda had always been a favorite of Pansy's with the feeling reciprocated making it not a complete disappointment. She began to read the garnish script.

_Dearest Pansy_

_I have heard numerous tales of late about the happenings at Hogwarts. I already know that you have remained unharmed from your father's latest letter but hastened to write you myself to reassure you of any worries. Darling girl I can only imagine what a shock it must be to find one's friends to be not what they seem, much less the shock of finding out such hidden truths from one's suitor._

_I offer my most heartfelt condolences at your loss. These are not the polite words of an acquaintance but the loving words of a concerned family member. Your loss does not even have the comfort of a respectable death to the loved one but the horrible stigma of being associated with such a person even when all contact has been cut since the moment of revelation._

_Fear not my child for society does love a sad tale and I can think of none more tragic than yours. Keep your chin up and show just how much you do not miss the now unmentionable boy and all will soon be forgotten._

_Love Auntie Lucinda_

_P.S. Do have your mother send you up for a nice long visit over summer break. I and everyone here miss you so._

Pansy carefully put the envelope and letter in her pocket and shooed the owl off. She walked sedately back towards the house before giving into her exhilaration and treating the house elf in the kitchen to several pirouettes of excitement. There was little chance the house was being watched right now with everything else the ministry had going on but on could never be too careful. Her father and brother had enough secret dealings that had always been kept well hidden to arouse some suspicion even with their careful planning. The Auror sent two days ago to question her on her knowledge of Draco had everyone on edge though.

He hadn't been a very experienced one or he might have seen through Pansy's denials that she knew nothing of Draco's involvement with the Dark Lord. She had known of course that he was involved in some way just not to the extent of what happened. Her real worry over his lack of communication had been presumed grief by the auror and he had left her alone after less than ten minutes of questions.

Fear and worry were now replaced with such exuberant relief and happiness. The letter, the lovely lovely letter, had told her all she needed to pull her from despair to euphoria. Auntie Lucinda would never write such a thing unless there was a hidden meaning. She had never been an active participant in death eater activities, but agreed most heartily with the ideals if not the methods of the Dark Lord. She had occasionally lent her influence and bank accounts to the cause and was known to hide those in need on her sprawling estate in the south.

She scanned the letter once more to make sure she hadn't misinterpreted anything in her anxiety, but it was all still there including the marvelous post script. "I and everyone here miss you so." She couldn't have been more sure of Draco's whereabouts even if her aunt had written them in fifty foot letters on the manor walls. Aunt Lucinda had lived alone on the estate since the death of her husband ten years ago and they had never had children so it was no unexpected cousin she was referring to either. No one else would "miss her so" there unless it was someone in hiding and Draco was the only one who concerned her that didn't still lead a double life.

Her first impulse was to floo directly to the estate and see that he was safe for herself. Centuries of caution and intrigue breed into her plus her own experience immediately discarded this plan as extremely foolish. Her sudden unplanned trip would set off alarm bells the ministry and lead them directly to Draco. She would wait till after the evening's dinner party to tell her parents of her aunt's request of a visit and then wait another day to not look so eager before leaving.

The rest of the day seemed to pass more slowly than the preceding ones put together. Her no news as good news approach had made every minute of not knowing a relief. Now that the intense fear and worry had fled, anticipation and impatience had made the day seem endless. Being home, while nice and all other things associated with happy homes, had little appeal to her now that she knew where Draco was. She thought of going to see him as the first steps to her adult life. Before she had always been regulated to the status of child and things had been kept from her for her own protection and the protection of other. The fact that she was now trusted to know the location of one of the ministry's most wanted men spoke volumes of her new state.

"Pansy?"

A pause.

"Pansy! Are you up here?"

Pansy waited until her mother got to the door of her sitting room before responding from the bedroom.

"Yes mother. There's no need to shout."

"If you would respond the first time called then there wouldn't be a need," her mother said peevishly.

Pansy did not respond to this from the other side of her bedroom door. She had made it a point starting last summer not to come whenever she heard her name called but to wait until the shouter came to her. She had gotten the idea from Tracey Davis who said that once she stopped running to everyone's summons and made them come to her they seemed to place her in higher esteem and not bother her for stupid things.

"Well? What are you doing? Can I come in I need to talk to you about some things for tonight."

"Yes you can come in. I'm just getting ready."

Pomona Parkinson walked in and gave a sharp gasp at the sight of her daughter. Instead of the normal pastels her daughter was normal clad in for formal events Pansy wore a set of dark blue robes that were in no way fluffy or childlike.

"What are you doing in that dress?" she demanded. "You know you're not to wear them until you've……."

"Come of age?" Pansy said innocently. "Don't you remember mother my birthday was only two months ago. I know you didn't forget it because I received the owl from you and father."

"Oh! I'm sorry darling. It's just one forgets how fast her children grow up. Of course you're of age now. How could I forget that lovely necklace we sent you on your birthday? You look lovely! I'm sure Mr. Flint's son will just fall out of his chair when he sees how lovely you've grown since he was at Hogwarts."

"Marcus is going to be here?" Pansy asked quite surprised.

"Weren't you listening the other day? I told you all about how he has that new job at the ministry. His father is so proud. You remember how worried he was about Marcus being able to do anything important after that EIGHTH year at Hogwarts."

Pansy snorted.

"Yes I know dear he's hopelessly dim but do be nice. You know how close your father is with his. Besides they're family."

"If you count 5th cousins as family," Pansy said dryly.

"Why not? You never know when you may need a favor. Now, do you remember who else I told you was coming?"

"Narcissa and ……..the Golyes?" she guessed.

"I see you remembered one of the Malfoy family without trouble. No the Goyles weren't invited. It's just us, Narcissa, the Flints, the Clearwaters, and the Pritchards.

"Who on earth are the Clearwaters? Don't tell me you've started inviting muggles to dinner mother!"

"Not without a purpose dear."

"Mother!" Pansy shouted. "What do you think daddy will say about this! I doubt he'd even let them in the door and rightly so."

"It was his idea…"

"What! Have you both gone mad!"

"Don't interrupt. It's rude. Now as I was saying it was your father's idea to help out Narcissa. You know the ministry has been watching her every time she leaves the house. Mr. Clearwater works in the Auror department somehow with Marcus and is supposed to be training him. We're all going to act completely devastated and consoling towards Narcissa so they'll stop hounding her and us so and everyone at his work will think Marcus is so cunning for getting Mr. Clearwater here to spy on us."

"Marcus? Cunning? Mother now I know the ministry isn't bright most of the time but won't they see through a lie that big!" Pansy shrieked and fell back onto the bed laughing.

"Remember what I said about being nice to family Pansy. Be a good girl and I'll tell you the news I just heard from Narcissa over the floo," she said coyly.

Pansy sat up and said as if she hadn't had a moment of anxiety, "Yes mother, I know, Draco's safely in hiding and I can stop worrying."

"You little sneak! How did you find out before me? Narcissa just received word of it this morning and told me just a moment ago. I rushed up here to tell you but you know how I get sidetracked," she finished apologetically.

"Don't look so crushed. I've known since this morning too. Speaking of which," she said thinking this the perfect timing to announce her trip, "I'm gong to visit Auntie Lucinda the day after tomorrow."

"Ooooooooh! So that's where he is! Narcissa didn't even tell me that much. She just said to tell you he was safe and that you shouldn't worry and to act like I told you this evening because that would make him safer," Pomona rattled off excitedly.

Pansy smirked. "I want to wait until the day after tomorrow to leave to be safe. Can we go shopping tomorrow? I want to get Auntie a present."

"We'll make a day of it! We can lunch at that new place that took over Fortescue's. You'll need some more summer robes too since you're going to be around Draco all the time. We can't have him see you dragging around in the same old things from last year. War is so nasty most of the time but it does make things seem so romantic. Just think my little girl going off under the enemies noses to see her brave man! But I need to stop nattering on and go get ready. Remember be all tragic and consoling to Narcissa. Don't forget be nice to Marcus either."

As Pomona left Pansy could not help the indulgent smile on her face. While not by any means stupid Pomona seemed to live in her own world. Raised in the typical pureblood Slytherin world of intrigue and darkness, Pomona seemed to be aware of everything going on and block it out at the same time. She was almost never caught off guard, which made Pansy's knowledge of Draco a big triumph, but her manner never reflected the turmoil that always seemed to be happening.

She turned back to her mirror and removed several cosmetic charms. She added a few more before cursing. She wanted dark circles under her eyes not black eyes. She looked beaten instead of heartbroken. Three attempts there was still a definite raccoon resemblance. Muttering about karma she went to find her definitely not stupid mother to fix them for her.


End file.
